During these rough patches we call “life” we are all called to step it up! If we all take it up one notch, give an inch, do just a little more …Wow! Can you even imagine the results? Every single day someone says to me, “But what can I do?” Well here’s your answer. Man Up! I am not asking you to go adopt; I am not asking you to break your piggy bank and give away all your life savings; I am not asking you to sell your first born; I am not asking you to cheat on your taxes; I’m not asking you to take out a second mortgage; I am not asking you to go without …all I’m asking you to do is raise the bar one little bitty notch and Man Up. It will not be painful nor is it an impossible task.

The truth of the matter is we are really at war every single day. The enemy ranges from our health to our safety, to social media, to raising your children, to decisions about aging parents, to work related issues not to mention finances, education, household responsibilities and endless other things that are too numerous to list. Yet by doing the simple task of taking one extra step we can win the battle. It’s never too late to get started! This minute is spot on. Right now seems to be the perfect time. The war will rage on, but one battle at a time is doable. We all need to up our game.

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Whose job is it to make you a good person? Are you one of those folks that stereotypes people? Do you usually do the right thing? Whose job is it to tell you to forgive and forget?  Do we look to others for this? Do we depend on Judge Judy to do this or Dr. Phil or perhaps the person you sleep with at night? My opinion is and I believe it with all my heart, that responsibility lies with one person and only one person…YOU!

It just seems to me that in situation after situation when we mess up that we blame it on everyone but the person with whom the blame really lies, ourselves. Many times life can be very difficult. It is definitely not always filled with cupcakes and cartwheels. Inevitably we all stumble across pain and suffering in our lives, whether it is through the economy, our health, our relationships or simple human stupidity, but no one is immune from suffering. Now, it is one’s choice how long you allow yourself to be miserable or go without forgiving.

This week I was on a plane returning from Los Angeles. There were two gentlemen sitting behind me discussing the pitfalls of having to go on a business trip to Memphis, Tennessee. Their dialogue was so off base that it was all I could do to contain myself from turning around and saying, “You and You are idiots.” I was experiencing up close and personal human stupidity right in front of my eyes. Well, actually right behind my back. These two Einsteins had it all figured out. In their ever so “shallow” minds, they categorized not just people from Memphis but southerners in general as and I quote, “hicks.” Who even uses that word anymore? They were obviously completely out of touch with reality. If you listened to these two you would have thought Southerners still climbed a telephone pole to answer the phone every time it rang like on Green Acres!

I consider myself a well-traveled individual. I am in two or three different cities every few weeks. Last week I was in Los Angeles, Dallas and Atlanta. This week:  Oshkosh, Wisconsin, Nashville, Tennessee and Oxford, Mississippi. Point is, that over the past two years, since the release of The BlindSide, I have traveled to the four corners of this country and beyond our borders, and let me tell you I have encountered every type of redneck, hick and classless person you can imagine in every place I have been. So it certainly is not just a southern thing. Yes, life in the South may be a tad slower, and we might enjoy the outdoors a bit more, and we are usually very outgoing, polite and well-mannered, but that doesn’t mean we don’t wear shoes or have indoor plumbing.

So, I found myself wanting to do bodily harm to these two gentlemen behind me. However, here comes the “do the right thing” speech that I am constantly doling out to others. The forgive and forget lecture. The be a good person and turn the other cheek blah blah blah….However, I was not very happy and my thoughts were anything but about being kind. Yet, I and only I, would be responsible for the actions I was contemplating at that moment. I would be held accountable for any and all actions that took place. It takes years and years and years to develop your character and your good name and in a split second was I going to let these two simple-minded men behind me ruin that? Spitting on them would not be extremely classy nor would smashing their mouths all over their faces, result in anything good, as my grandmother used to tell me. So why not try and just forgive them for being ignorant?

I was taking deep breaths through my nose, like a bull staring into a red cape. These two had no idea how close to harm they were. When one spewed a line that went something like, “I imagine sophistication went out with the yellow fever epidemic,” that almost caused me to go over the seat. Of course, these feelings are not new to me nor my family. When you have an African American child, you are used to being open game for people’s opinions, judgements, and ridiculous comments, but this was not just directed at my five family members this was directed at an entire section of our country. Oh, they said Memphis, but it could have been Birmingham, Nashville, or any other southern city. So these two wise ones needed to learn not to talk about things that they knew nothing about as well as not say things that are hurtful and insensitive. I could only imagine what they said behind closed doors if this was their airplane conversation.

I took several deep cleansing breaths and decided they were not worth wasting my time on, and that my energy would be better served on something that was productive and uplifting. It was up to me to take the required thirty second cooling off timeout, and it was up to me to make a good choice. There are so many great people who would still be with us today if they had made responsible choices and looked in the mirror and said, “I need to do the right thing.”

We have to learn to let go and move in a forward direction. Forgiving will not take away the memory or really the pain but without it, things tend to get worse. We become bitter and callous. So the next time someone is getting more attention than you or they have a nicer cell phone or the better car or your good friend throws you under the bus or you get blamed for something you didn’t do…remember only you are responsible for your actions. Let’s use our energy to fight the real injustices in this world. Let’s be loud and proud for those who are being bullied and treated poorly. Let’s try to find a home for every foster child and a bed for every baby. Don’t let your emotions cause you to do foolish things. Use those emotions for the good- make a change that is so badly needed in our society. If we all collectively use our enthusiasm and energy to do the right thing  and we take responsibility for our actions, we will see difficulties disappear, obstacles vanish, and change will be just beyond the horizon!

Photo credit by: atomicShed

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

I was going to inform you last week and give you lists of fabulous ideas and pages of great projects that you could engage in, but then I thought, “No, let’s see what these fine upstanding citizens can come up with on their own.” If you are in the minority, and you are proudly having a discussion with your conscious saying, “Well, I took cookies to the fire station; she’s not as smart as she thinks she is” or you said to yourself, “I’m going to touch base with Ms. Leigh Anne Tuohy and let her know I helped clean up the local park” or “I did this or that.” Well, good for you; do more! More is badly needed.

So much of our life is scripted. We are creatures of habit. We are list makers, planners; we are goal setters and do gooders by nature. Last week, we should have all stepped up and been difference makers.  We should have had National Volunteer Week on our ipads, ipods, blackberrys, iphones, and a note stuck on the fridge. We do this for things far less important. We should have held parades and had rallies. We should have painted signs that read “Stamp out hunger,” “Make sure everyone can read,” “Electricity for all,”  “Love those no one loves,” “Don’t litter,” and we should have stood on every street corner in America at rush hour with our signs, holding buckets for donations and shouting, “Please help!” We should have marched on the courthouse steps. We should be angry that families live in cars and intelligent teenagers don’t have an option to go to college much less have adequate school supplies and health care.

As I said, we certainly get angry over things of much less importance and become passionately involved with things that don’t really matter, that are totally unimportant. We invest ourselves in so many things that are self-serving when an act as simple as volunteering could create much needed assistance and serve so many. Yet we just acknowledged that most of us had no clue that last week was the golden opportunity to say, “Hey, I want to jump in and do my part.” I want to be the best volunteer there has ever been!

It should have been a week that social media was filled with tips and ideas to lend a helping hand to step up and change a life. The Nightly News should have been over run with story after story of people who were awe inspiring, even if it was just something as simple as a kind individual who was found in the local park looking for figures in the clouds with a foster child and sharing an ice cream cone with him after that simple act of involvement and giving of one’s time. Unfortunately, it seems to me that we are a nation of people who like to draw lines in the sand. We want to say here’s my obligation; here’s my responsibility and when I get to that self appointed line then I have fulfilled my duty. We like to have closure, a finishing point. It’s  like we want this imaginary finish line that says when you cross here your mission is completed.

Well ladies and gentlemen, that is just not the case with volunteering! There is always works to be done and precious ones who need to be helped. I can tell you from personal experience that once you become involved in the act of giving of yourself and your time that each day you will be drawn to continue to do more and more. You will begin to think of endless possibilities that could change lives and move the needle. Your imagination runs wild with thoughts of potential. If you have dreamed of being a leader, well here’s your chance. You can be the lead volunteer! It will be a position that can not only change your life but those around you. Leadership is really about inspiring those around you and leading by example. Let your family, friends and associates see a change in you.  Make a lasting impression on them and I bet you a plug nickel they will follow!

There is no time like the present to get started. Just because you missed the assigned dates last week doesn’t mean you put it off until next year. Get up and get going and don’t make it seem like a daunting task. We can all do simple things each and every day that will have a positive impact on those around us. How hard is it to look for figures in the clouds? Here’s where the rubber meets the road….what we believe, what we think and what we say will only be as effective as what we actually get up and do. So volunteer and volunteer often and be the very best do’er you can be and it will change a life for the better!

Photo credit by: AARP

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

SOURCE: AARP

She knows I use this time of year to engage everyone in a ritual we have all heard of and I really live for which is “Spring Cleaning.” I wait until after Easter; I don’t want to seem too eager. Gotta play the cool card, even when cleaning is involved. I’m not going to lie,  her revelation startled me a little as I pretty much have a Windex bottle attached to my right hand at all times. It is like an accessory to me, my watch and my Windex bottle. My family members are familiar with that yummy Windex taste and have actually grown to like it. I tell them, just as my father told me, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

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Hope is a powerful thing. It gives way to a new beginning, a tomorrow, another chance, a do over. Hope can chase away the darkest of days, despair and evil. Hope will illuminate a path that had previously seemed impossible to pass. Isaiah 40:31 says,

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

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